Someday Syndrome - The Cause of Clutter

Do you suffer from “Someday Syndrome?” Many people do. It causes stagnation and keeps them from reaching their goals and dreams.

A Story About My Friend and Her Recipe File

I have a friend who has a torn, over-stuffed manila folder that she puts her “someday” recipes in. She’s had them for years. I send her cookbooks every so often because I know she loves to cook . I’m not sure she’s even opened one, yet I continue to send them. Why? Because she is a great cook. On occasion, she tells me she’s made one of the recipes in her file, but mostly she hangs on to a few special ones for “someday.” Yet, as the story goes, “someday never comes.”

When I’m trying to figure out what to make for dinner, if I don’t have a Blue Apron delivery, or for a special occasion, I either go to one of my tried and true Ina Garten Barefoot Contessa recipes (which I love), or go online. I can always find something there. I can compare a few, see what ingredients I have on hand, which ones I’ll need, and call my husband to pick up the ingredients on his way home. He’s a champ!

So, why does my friend keep all the recipes in her folder, never making them? She thinks that “someday” she’ll have friends over to dinner and make one, only to decide otherwise. They’re never quite right, or she’s not sure about the ingredients. I say, in that case, throw them away. If you don’t love what you’ve saved, need it, or use it, it’s clutter, plain and simple. My rule of thumb is if a recipe sits there, occupying space and doing nothing but becoming more and more faded, I say, it’s time to let go.

Digging Below the “Someday Syndrome” Surface

Ask yourself the real question, why does my friend keep a pile of recipes she will never make? That’s the million dollar question for any clutter we know we don’t want but keep. Most likely, she’s suffering from “Someday Syndrome” and having trouble letting go.

Here are some thoughts I have about her situation: She wishes her kids would move back to her small town so she can make them a plant-based dinner (they are vegan); she is trying to lose weight and thinks these recipes are a good place to start; she feels bad that she bought a Le Creuset Dutch Oven and wants to use it but it’s too heavy for her to lift; and by keeping these recipes, she can tell herself that she’s doing all these things without actually doing them. The logic: because these recipes are in the folder, she has the potential to make them. Someday. In the future. Like never.

Clutter and “Someday Syndrome”

The logic behind “Someday Syndrome” is the same logic we use to hang on to clothes that no longer fit. It reminds us of who we used to be, not who we are today. “Someday, I’ll be able to fit into that skirt,” but again, someday never comes. What we are doing is living an incongruent life, and this thought is making you feel bad about yourself. We are living in the past, or in the future, and not today. And today is what counts, since yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never promised to us. You’re beating yourself up over nothing.

Ask yourself this question: If I got let go of something I might need "someday,” and that day comes, and I need it, what will I do? How will I confront that situation? Chances are, you’d get your hands on another one, whether you borrow or buy it. Amazon delivers quickly. It would be on your doorstep tomorrow.

While the answer “I might need this someday” seems simplistic, you send yourself a message that you’d be rendered helpless without the item you’re afraid to let go. You’re telling yourself that you’re not capable of figuring out the best solution in a challenging situation; that you’re not resourceful enough to work through the circumstances.

Here’s another part of the question: If the item were something that you didn’t necessarily use but loved at one time and you regret getting rid of it, will you forgive yourself? Are you so used to beating yourself up that you can’t possibly risk making the seemingly “wrong” decision?

“Just in Case”

Some things you can keep in the “someday, just in case” pile. But not a lot. It speaks to your inner strength that you are able to “let go of the shore.” I don’t keep very much in my “just in case” pile, because frankly, it’s just clutter. And, I have faith in myself. Read the Hopi Elders' Prophecy, June 8, 2000 for more inspiration.

Read Your Own Energy and Honor Your Needs

A handy tip is to pay attention to your own behavior when deciding what to keep, and not the other way around. Like my friend’s recipe folder that she hangs on to for dear life, she is forgetting to pay attention to her own behavior. Her behavior suggests that she asks friends for recipes, rather than pull one out of her manila folder pile. The pile is just clutter at this point. Why keep the recipes she never makes? It actually dilutes our self-esteem.

By keeping lots of things, you think you might need, you often make life harder on yourself. Instead, buying what you need when you need it frequently saves you time, money, and aggravation, and keeps you from having a lot of wasted things in your home.

The Inner Narrative

So, the next time you, or a friend, are struggling with “Someday Syndrome,” think about the inner narrative that is playing in your (or her) head. What is the story you’re telling yourself? Trust yourself to sort out things as they come instead of hanging on to “someday” for dear life.

If you, or someone you know is struggling with “Someday Syndrome,” feel free to ask for help at The Uncluttered Life®. We know lots of tips and tricks to get past this life barrier.