Someday Syndrome: How to Let Go of Clutter and Live for Today
Do you suffer from Someday Syndrome? It is a common condition that causes stagnation, keeping people from reaching their true goals because they are weighed down by the "ghosts" of future possibilities.
I have a friend who keeps a torn, over-stuffed manila folder filled with recipes she has clipped over the years. I know she loves to cook, so I occasionally send her cookbooks. However, while she is a fantastic chef, those clipped recipes rarely see the light of day. She hangs on to them for "someday," yet as the saying goes, someday never comes.
When I need to decide what to make for dinner, I don't look through a faded pile of paper. I go to my tried-and-true Ina Garten recipes or search online where I can compare ingredients and reviews in seconds. So, why does my friend keep a folder of recipes she never makes? Because those papers represent a version of her life that hasn't happened yet.
Digging Below the Surface of Someday Syndrome
Why do we keep piles of things we know we don’t want or use? That is the million-dollar question. In my friend's case, the recipes represent more than just food:
Aspiration: She wishes her children would move back to town so she could cook them a vegan dinner.
Health Goals: She thinks these recipes are the "start" of a weight-loss journey.
Guilt: She bought a beautiful Le Creuset Dutch Oven that is now too heavy to lift, and the recipes justify the purchase.
By keeping the folder, she tells herself she is doing these things without actually having to do them. The logic is: "As long as I have the recipes, I have the potential to be that person."
Clutter and the Identity Crisis
The logic behind Someday Syndrome is the same reason we hang on to clothes that no longer fit. These items remind us of who we used to be or who we hope to become. But living an incongruent life where your physical environment doesn't match your current reality actually hurts your self-esteem.
When you live in "someday," you are either stuck in the past or anxious about the future. For a healthy state of mind, today is what counts.
The "Helplessness" Message
Ask yourself this: "If I let go of something I might need someday, and that day actually comes, what will I do?"
Most people realize they could borrow the item or buy a replacement quickly. By holding on to "just in case" items, you are sending yourself a subtle, negative message: that you are incapable of figuring out a solution in a challenging situation. You are reinforcing a belief that you aren't resourceful or strong enough to work through a future circumstance without that specific piece of clutter.
The Cost of "Just in Case"
It takes a great deal of inner strength to "let go of the shore." Many people believe that keeping things saves them money, but often the opposite is true. Some things you can keep in the “someday, just in case” pile. But not a lot. It speaks to your inner strength that you are able to “let go of the shore.” I don’t keep very much in my “just in case” pile, because frankly, it’s just clutter. And, I have faith in myself. Read the Hopi Elders' Prophecy, June 8, 2000 for more inspiration.
Storing, organizing, and moving items you don't use costs you:
Time: The hours spent shifting piles around.
Money: The cost of storage bins or a larger home to house the "someday" items.
Energy: The mental fatigue of seeing unfinished projects every day.
Trusting yourself to handle the future as it arrives is the ultimate decluttering hack.
How to Change the Narrative
The next time you struggle to let go of an object, pay attention to your actual behavior. My friend hangs on to her recipe folder, but her behavior shows that she actually prefers to ask friends for recommendations or look things up online. Her folder isn't a resource; it’s a burden that dilutes her self-confidence.
Pay attention to what you actually do, not what you think you should do. Honor your current needs and trust your ability to be resourceful. Buying what you need when you actually need it saves you time, money, and aggravation in the long run.
Get Past the Barrier
If you or someone you know is struggling with Someday Syndrome, you don't have to navigate it alone. At The Uncluttered Life®, we specialize in helping you identify the "why" behind the clutter so you can finally move forward. Contact us today to learn how we can help you live a more intentional, present-focused life.